J.1/ The Quiet Power of Positive Emotions
“Joy is not a luxury. It’s information.”
Therapy is often dismissed as “just talking about your feelings” - as though that were something trivial or self-indulgent. But emotions are at the heart of human experience. They help us interpret the world, make decisions and form meaningful relationships.
We often speak about therapy as a place to explore what hurts - grief, anxiety, trauma. But equally important is what heals. Joy, curiosity, awe, pride, gratitude - these are not decorative extras. They are vital signals, guiding us toward safety, connection and meaning.
If pain tells us where the wound is, our pleasant emotions remind us what makes life worth living.
Why Do We Have Positive Emotions?
From an evolutionary perspective, all emotions have a purpose. Emotions like fear and anger protect us - they narrow our focus, activate survival instincts and help us respond to threat.
But positive emotions do something different. They expand us. They open up our thinking, increase creativity, deepen social bonds and replenish our nervous system after stress. In psychology, this is often referred to as the broaden-and-build theory.
In short, positive emotions help us grow.
They are not a reward for when everything is perfect. They are part of the process of healing and resilience - woven into how we recover, how we relate and how we keep going.
What is a Positive Emotion?
We tend to associate happiness with energy or excitement, but positive emotions are much broader - and often much quieter - than that. They include:
Joy: a spark of lightness or delight, often spontaneous and short-lived
Gratitude: an inner sense of appreciation or recognition of something meaningful
Pride: not arrogance, but a grounded acknowledgment of effort or growth
Calm: a feeling of regulation, peace, or safety in the body
Hope: an orientation toward possibility, even in uncertainty
Interest: curiosity, a sense of wanting to know or understand
Love: emotional resonance and connection, not just romantic, but relational
Awe: a feeling of reverence or smallness in the face of something larger than us
Each emotion carries information about who we are, what matters, where we feel safe, who we feel close to and what gives our life shape and direction.
Why Are We Often Disconnected From Them?
Many people find it easier to identify stress or sadness than to locate joy or calm. This disconnection is not a personal flaw - it’s cultural, neurological and often protective.
Some of the most common reasons include:
Our brains prioritise survival. Evolution has wired us to notice what’s wrong more than what’s right.
We’ve been taught to minimise. For many, positive emotion was dismissed, mocked or seen as naive.
We’ve learned to stay vigilant. If joy was followed by disappointment, we may have learned not to trust it.
We move too quickly. Without space and slowness, positive emotion can go unnoticed or unnamed.
As a result, many people are able to describe a positive experience, but not actually feel it. They might say, “It was nice,” but they’re not in touch with what that felt like in the body. The warmth in the chest. The softening of the jaw. The exhale that says, this moment is enough.
When we lose contact with those embodied signals of joy, calm or connection, something else happens: Life starts to feel like a to-do list, not an experience.
The Work of Reconnection
Like any emotional skill, being in touch with positive emotion is something we can (re)learn. It often requires going slow, paying attention and gently expanding our emotional vocabulary.
Some starting points include:
Noticing the subtle - Positive emotions are often soft. Look for moments of ease, comfort, or even slight relief.
Tracking the body - Ask yourself: Where do I feel this? What does it feel like in my chest, my breath, my shoulders?
Staying a little longer - When something feels good, pause. Let yourself have the full experience without rushing past it.
Naming more precisely - Replace words like “nice” or “good” with something more specific: peaceful, connected, proud, moved.
Allowing it to matter - It’s okay to feel joy even when things are hard. In fact, that’s often when we need it most.
This isn’t about forced positivity. It’s about giving your nervous system the full range of experience, including what steadies, softens and sustains you.
Final Thoughts
Positive emotions are not just pleasant states. They are forms of emotional intelligence. They tell us what is working, what is meaningful and what is safe to move toward.
And just like anger or fear, they deserve our attention.
Therapy is not only about understanding our pain, it’s also about reconnecting with the parts of us that still feel alive, open and hopeful.
In a world that asks us to stay busy, distracted, and alert, slowing down to feel what is good may be the most radical thing we do.
“Positive emotions don’t mean life is easy - they remind us that life is still meaningful.”
Reflective Prompts
What kinds of positive emotions do you experience most easily?
Which ones are harder to access or sustain?
What happens in your body when you let yourself feel something good?
Can you recall a moment recently that felt calming, connecting, or joyful - even for a few seconds?
